HavingThreeKids.com

[indecisive mom of 2]

So I saw my new doctor today and just LOVE her. She is down to earth, easy to talk to, and actually listens to me - if nothing else comes out of all this, at least I have gotten away from my other stupid, evil doctor. New doctor is doing a slew of tests to check for anything wrong with me that may have caused the two miscarriages, but says that we should feel free to try again in the meantime. My last doctor said not to try this month (remember I don't trust him to know what the hell he's doing AT ALL).

So my issue is...next week I should be ovulating and we're going to be on vacation. Part of me just wants to have a normal relationship with my husband and see what happens - not use OPKs or anything, just take a natural approach. But part of me is terrified that I will get pregnant and have another miscarriage -- so I would be better off to use protection until I get the test results. Any words of wisdom?

[RockyMtnMom]

Hi Indecisive: So glad that you found a doctor that you like and can begin to trust. That makes all the difference, doesn't it? I'll just add my two cents as I was in a similar boat. After my two losses, my regular OB (whom I love as a doc) told me it was okay to try again after a few cycles, but I just didn't feel right about it. Come to find out, after getting some additional tests done, my thyroid was out of whack, which can lead to miscarriages and abnormal fetal development. My numbers were "in range" as far as OB/GYNs are concerned, but not what endocrinologists feel are ideal. Anyway, my point is, are they testing your thyroid? It certainly wouldn't hurt, if you ask me. According to my endocrinologist, you'd want your TSH to be somewhere between 0.5 and 2.0/2.5 for pregnancy. I'm glad we didn't try again without having all the info as it could've just set us up for another loss. Not saying this is your issue at all, but maybe more information is better than less before you proceed.

Best to you!

[maybe3]

A couple of things to consider: 1) can you get all of the testing your dr is ordering for you completed before you might get pg? I had some tests done and some could not be done while pg, because they don't know what normal ranges are for pregnancy. So, if some tests won't be done by then, you may want to wait. On the other hand, if the tests will all be done, but you just won't have results, maybe it would be ok to go ahead and try, if you're feeling up to it 2) it's my understanding that after you have had one m/c, your chances of having a second one aren't really any higher, that after you have a second m/c, your chances of having another are slightly higher, but really not much and that it's only after a third one, that dr's generally start to conclude that there might be a problem and that the chances of having another m/c actually go up to any great extent. So, I think if you feel up to it and it wouldn't conflict with any remaining tests you might have if you got pg, then you should just go ahead and try. But, if you feel like it would be too stressful being pg, without knowing the results of your testing, then maybe it would be best to wait.

[maybe3]

rockymtnmom - that's really interesting about the thyroid - when I had my last m/c, my thyroid was at 3.77 and they said it was normal, but I've read that 2.5 or lower is best for pregnancy, too. Strangely, shortly after the m/c, it went back down to .77 and then up to 2.7 or something like that. I wonder if pregnancy can cause it to fluctuate like that? I've only ever had it tested once, right at the beginning of a pregnancy and then never again, but maybe it's a good idea to get it tested more regularly during pregnancy, in case medication needs to be adjusted...

[RockyMtnMom]

maybe3: It is so confusing, isn't it? If one reads up on TSH (Thyroid- Stimulating Hormone), you'll find that there is a huge debate about the appropriate levels, in general. When you get your lab report, the "in range" numbers go from 0.40-4.50, yet many endocrinologists agree that, specifically for pregnancy, they should be between 0.5-2.0/2.5. What that means is that many women have their TSH checked by their OB and are told they are in range, b/c they don't fall "out of range" per the current standard. Yet, many studies show there is a marked increase in miscarriages and adverse fetal outcomes when the mother's TSH is not in the narrower range I noted above. I am now on Synthroid to bring my TSH in range and have been told not to TTC until it's in the optimal range. From there, if we do get pregnant again, I will have my TSH tested immediately as pregnancy definitely does affect your TSH levels and, you're right, much of the time, a woman's hormone replacement drug (in my case, the Synthroid) does need to be increased. I asked about it on the forum earlier and TheBigQuestion said she had some experience with this too, so maybe she will weigh in.

[indecisive mom of 2]

Thanks for all of the good advice. I definitely suspect a possible thyroid issue...it's one of the only things besides just bad luck that makes sense after two healthy pregnancies. I have had blood taken for the test by both my general doctor and my ob/gyn since Friday and am waiting for results. I will call to get those before we do anything. All of that information about normal ranges, etc. is very helpful, thanks!

[thebigquestion]

Thyroid issues are a huge issue - I did not get pregnant until my dr lowered my dose of medicine (we tried for over a year) - she said that it can sometimes hinder getting pregnant if you are a little high - even if it would be a normal during non pregnant times.......so get checked and find a good endocrinologist - that is what i did and it worked!!!

I have had thyroid issues for a long time - so make sure it is followed carefully!

Good luck and keep us updated!

[CAN'TDECIDE!]

I too have a thyroid condition, but mine is overactive...so I had to take an anti-thyroid drug PTU to REDUCE the abundance of hormone I had. DH is considered medically sterile and for 3 years we ttc our first. My Doctor tested me and said I was within normal but very close to being overactive. Their thought was that at times it DID fluctuate into that range before returning back to normal. Otherwise reproductive wise I was in great shape, but still after years of trying....I was told I HAD to be in EXCELLENT shape to even have a one in a million chance of conceiving a child with a man who was lucky to have even a few sperm. When I did get pregnant..after the 3 years I M/C..though there is some debate with my newest OBGYN if I truly "lost" that pregnancy or old doctor made a critical error, doing a D & C..when the baby was not "seen" on the screen. Though later I was told..it would be impossible to see the baby early as my uterus is very tipped. But that's a whole other story. But back to the thyroid thing...I was officially diagnosed with the thyroid issue after my youngest was born. Before then, I had symptoms...BUT they would vary from month to month...but then after having my 2nd...I got very sick and I can say that today....I know so much about the thyroid that it can seriously impact chances of conceiving and even if one does get pregnant like me WITH this issue...postpartum time is the worst as even normal woman can get problems afterwards..but take a gal like me who is prone to thyroid issues and I am guaranteed a horrible time of hair loss, major hand tremors and shakes, swollen goiter, and a rapid heart beat so fast that I would spend my days a wreck and miserable.

I guess what I am saying...is if you even "think" you have a thyroid issue...I would want to know that before ttc again. Like others have said...to best take care of yourself and your baby...you need to be closely monitored and followed "IF" you have this issue. Just my thoughts. Good Luck!

[indecisive mom of 2]

Ok, I got my thyroid results and all four levels checked were normal. BUT I had a saline sonogram (tons of fun!) and found out that I have a ovarian cyst and a uterine polyp. I expected them to say I had an alien baby growing in their somewhere. So the polyp may be the reason for the miscarriages. I have to wait a month to see what the cyst does and have it removed, so we can't try this month. So, the waiting for a month is a bummer...but at least we have isolated the potential problem, it is easy to fix, it is not a major health concern (could be cancerous but odds are low -but please pray that is isn't if you are so inclined!), I have a clear answer about whether to try this month, and we can try again next month. I will feel better trying again by then because this will be taken care of, my body will have another month to heal, and I will have all my other test results as well. So why do I feel sad?

[CAN'TDECIDE!]

You feel sad because yet again, it feels like another obstacle...ttc a child whether it be a first or last child...takes time. We, me included would like a "normal" amount of time to conceive...not have to wait and then be let down and then have yet something else stop the process. It's like when will this finally be over and I can MOVE ON and have My child already! I don't think its the waiting that causes us to feel sad..its the fact that we aren't sure WHEN and IF things will work out how we planned. It's like WHY does things have to be this hard, this difficult and of coarse, anyone WOULD be sad! So don't be hard on yourself if you are sad, or angry or frustrated. I HAVE been there, its not fun. For me, I had to watch so many people achieve what I wanted... a family, and seemingly NEVER have that opportunity myself. When I finally did have my first child..of coarse I was happy..but I felt more anger then I did excitement at first...at why I had to go through all I did, the infertility treatments...spending thousands of dollars towards ttc a child only to get pregnant on my own. I couldn't understand why I had to go through so much. It took me a long time to process the whole history of ALL I went though.

I do believe you too will get there...though in the meantime..its an awful wait of yet another obstacle that you have to get through...just keep the faith and soon you WILL be able to try again and someday you will HAVE that new child...Good Luck and I will be praying for you! God Bless!

[J&Wsmommy]

I think it is only natural to feel sad after what you have been through. Even though I am glad that they found a possible cause for you (and hopefully that means it won't be happening to you again!!!), it is still scary and puts off that dream for a little while longer. You now have something else to go through, and even though I know in my heart it is going to be fine, it's just one more thing to deal with. I am praying that this has been the problem for you and this next little one will be the third sweetie you have been waiting for. I'm thinking of you and will be saying a little prayer for you each night! Hang in there.

My doctor has also been wonderful. I told her about DH wanting to get a vasectomy and she very gently encouraged us not to do anything permanent, and DH thinks he will wait now...whew! At this moment in time, I am actually feeling pretty terrified of getting pregnant again (with no testing or answers...chromosomes aren't back on last one yet), so we are exploring non-permanent options until we come to a decision.