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I've hit my having three kids stride! Finally!

 
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rhysjglimmer



Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 121
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:13 pm    Post subject: I've hit my having three kids stride! Finally! Reply with quote

My kids are now 9, 5 (in July), and 2....it's going really well. My two older boys finally play together b/c the older one doesn't think my 5 year old is a "baby" anymore now that my daughter has taken on that roll. My older son ends up helping me so much though and I hope it makes him a better person in the long run. I hear that from many people, though, that the oldest helps alot or does alot....that's what the oldest does right? I was the oldest of 3 in my house and I know I helped out alot. Anyway, I just wanted to report w/ sunshine in my voice that me and my three are on a good run here, we found our grove! My husband and I are no longer questioning a fourth, either, we figured out these three we perfection, a great fit for our lifestyle.
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's great! Sounds like you're all enjoying life.

Can I ask...what things contributed to your decision to stop at 3 vs. going for a 4th? I still get stuck in that decision sometimes. It helps to hear someone else's thought process. :)
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jaime28



Joined: 28 Jan 2009
Posts: 191

PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks for posting...life sounds wonderful. i can def see as the first 2 get that much older helps out so much. mine are 7 (next month) 4 and 13 months and while right now the baby is sort of getting in the way of things (ie. destroying lego worlds and barbie forts, LOL) the older 2 get along great (mostly) and really enjoy each other's company.

dh just had the big v (on thurs) and while i was really sad leading up to it, i really do feel good about our decision - much better then I thought anyways... i certainly have no regrets - i just think i am that type of person who loved all that was pregnancy and baby and that if we had 4th, i probably would still long to do it again (and again)
We def flopped when making the decision for #3 but the whole time i just knew we had to TRY....where as the possibility of 4 was never a real need or on the table, just a "nice to have or a big what if"....I think in our case, I needed the closure and finality of the V, you know? Now there is no more flopping or what ifs. I can now (finally) move on from that stage and enjoy what has been sitting in front of me this entire time. It's almost like a weight has been lifted if that makes sense??? Like an "aha moment"...Holy crap, I really do love what I have!!! I am not in a perfect groove, we definitely have one and I do really, REALLY LOVE IT!!!
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rhysjglimmer



Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 121
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I waited for it to click I guess. One day I just realized I'm over it. I don't want another one b/c the two sons and a daughter that I have are my life and it can only get more complicated from there, so I want to keep it as simple as I can and stay where we are with it. Now, I will say just to add to the other side that my neighbor has four-all under 6 yrs old and I couldn't imagine it any other way. Her kids fit together like a puzzle and seems so natural for her to have four. It's a huge life decision. My two older sons are about to go to school in August, my 5 yr old is going to Kindergarten and the plan is to put the little one (2 1/2) in a preschool program and finally do something for me!! (whether it's school or work)
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thinkingof3



Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 349

PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I totally agree with you and I'm glad you hit your stride. Three is awesome, yet it is difficult. My three are just now getting into activities, etc. and I'm wondering when I will get to relax. No way do I want an infant anymore....though I still wish I could go back 7 years and start all over with the 3 I have :)
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 3:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thinkingof3, have you been able to find peace with your decision to stop at 3? I know a few months ago you really wanted to go for #4. It's so funny how 90% of the time I feel complete with 3, and then there are those times that I feel that I just HAVE to have one more. Incidentally, I truly believe those times correspond with my cycle, during the time I'm probably ovulating. So frustrating!! Especially as I'm coming up on the big 4-0 in less than a year and just don't have the energy for another baby/toddler.

Rhysjglimmer, since you grew up as one of three, did you find that someone was always left out? Or did the three of you play well together? How spread were the ages of you and your siblings...were they boys or girls? I LOVE trying to learn about how the dynamics of three plays out in different families. :)
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 4:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I SO wish I could go back too with my two kids and start over..and so wish I had been really healthy to have that 3rd child....I will be the BIG 4-0 too...almost exactly one year from now...I turn 39 here in just a few short days on the 21st and boy let me tell you I STILL have that thought...that maybe I should just ttc one more, come hell or high water because I am NOT getting any younger and adopting has been impossible to date!!! Though I still don't want a baby...especially at the pace I live and though I keep things simple, my schedule is wide open if need be and I work very part-time... I workout/am SO active...so it would be insane how I would give that up to "be pregnant" plus the long recovery postpartum period of years on end. But still...the thought comes to my mind, its like now or never!

That said, I think hitting a stride is so nice whether someone has 1,2, 3 or more kids....and its so hard to think there will again be a time, or bump if you will by adding another child. But still...it is what it is...and STILL my mind goes there....so glad some of us here actually are finding some peace...I am almost there..but have been stuck at/around 90% at peace with my 2....but there is that 10% of me that never will be. LOL
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