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Birds and the Bees talk?

 
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melina0995



Joined: 25 Jan 2011
Posts: 18

PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:30 pm    Post subject: Birds and the Bees talk? Reply with quote

Okay, so my daughter keeps asking about how babies are made. She is 7 and a half. This started about a year ago and I usually just answer the question she is asking without going into detail and let her take the conversation where it goes by her questions. Up until now, I am fine with what she knows. Based off her questioning, what she currently knows is that when a mommy and daddy are married and love each other very much they decide to have a baby. The Daddy has a seed and the Mommy has an egg and the Daddy puts the seed in the egg and it then grows into a baby in the tummy. She also knows where the baby comes out from. Well, this answer is no longer enough. Now she wants to know how the seed gets into the egg and the explanation of the Daddy puts it there is no longer working. She knows that something is missing in the story. What do I do??? We are not ready to have that conversation of how it gets in there. Should we tell her? Has anyone else had this situation and what have you done?

I know that what bothers me is the idea of all the sex stuff because for adults it is an act of hormones and all that. A child is not going to see it that way of course, they will just take it as information which I understand. However, I am very squeamish at the idea of describing how the male part goes in the female part. We keep telling her we will tell her when she is older, but this is not going to work. She asks several times a day. HELP!!!
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For me, I actually told my boys around that age or so, once they asked similar questions. For me, It was strangely easy to go into the "talk" though I HAD thought it would have been REALLY hard to do. They took it well and we spent many more days discussing even more with them. Honestly, I believe in telling kids who are young enough and mature enough to understand, every child is different yet not so old that they DO get REALLY embarrassed. I was told at age 11 and let me tell you it was VERY embarrassing to hear THAT! So my belief is a younger child being told, long as they aren't VERY young is better then a much, easily embarrassed older child. I can't remember exactly when we told our boys, the "info" but I believe it was when my youngest was close to 8 and oldest was 10 (but our 10 year old has the mentality of a child 2-3 years younger and even still today at almost 15 acts MUCH younger then he is)

Because we are very open with our boys and talk a lot about tons of what most would consider embarrassing questions for their kids to ask....we never really had those typical awkward moments with our kids, I know we SHOULD have had. In fact, my boys still openly discuss everything embarrassing with us and at almost 13 and 15 and for us, now its normal! LOL Oh...also What I did was actually got basic reproductive pictures of both male and female bodies (nothing graphic, just black and white) and discussed it that way, initially like a health class. It was a whole lot easier to do it that way then to explain to a young child HOW it all worked. Plus they had visual aids to help them understand and focus on instead of me. :-) I am a big time believer in doing my research ahead of time, and then "teaching" a topic. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do....but my feeling is if she is asking questions its up to you to figure out what next information you want to give her.
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Koagirl74



Joined: 26 Aug 2008
Posts: 31
Location: MA

PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My daughter is 7 1/2 also and has been questioning me, as well. I think I am going to purchase some books written for kids about this subject. I know American Girl has one and I've heard good things about it. I want to answer her questions while not providing too much information that she might not be ready for. I feel for you!
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've had to have "the talk" with quite a few of my early "tween" patients when they asked me questions they wouldn't ask their parents. Frankly, I'd rather my daughter (and my patients when I was practicing) hear the info from me rather than the kids at school. Remember, for a 7 year old and younger kids, body parts aren't embarrassing the way they are to many adults.
I remember a book from when I was a kid with HILARIOUS illustrations, I think it was called, "Where did I come from". My mom saved it and I just found it a year ago and laughed until I peed myself! But it is a good one.
I think a book can really help explain things in a "child's" terms.
Personally, I read a book in 1st grade (age 7) about horses (Ponies of Chingoteague) and it gave a detailed description of "horse sex" ROFL. I left the page open on the kitchen table with a note, "Mom, is THAT how it happens?" and my mom, who was VERY embarrassed came to me and said, "Well, sort of, except well...not quite jumping on each other's back like the horses...well...most of the time." Poor woman! LOL
Seriously though, I volunteered in a teen "residential home" while in college and we had girls who were 12 and 13 pregnant with their 2nd and 3rd babies...so I don't think 7 is too early to start explaining the correct info. Good luck!
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melina0995



Joined: 25 Jan 2011
Posts: 18

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 3:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks everyone. I actually ended up telling her before I even checked the responses on here and it really wasn't that bad. I think I built it up in my mind that it was going to be much worse. The part that I was most dreading about telling her, she just kind of ignored at first and then when she asked again and I had to tell it again, she said that it was gross. I agreed with her and told her that when you are married and are as close to someone as your husband you see lots of gross things about each other and if that one gross thing needs to be done in order to get a wonderful child like her then it is totally worth it.

Personally I am totally fine with her finding the act "gross" until she is much older.
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melicovas



Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is great.. My boy, almost 7, has been hinting at the same question but I havent gone there yet. Ihave no doubt that as soon as he knows, he will tell his sisters. we, too, are very open about body parts etc. But once he gets this info, I need to be prepared that my 5 and 3 year olds will also have it.
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Melina,
Frankly, I still think the parts/act is kinda gross and I'm a grown adult with 2 kids!! Actually, I find it quite funny and have a question to ask God when I see him..."What were you THINKING???" LOL
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nata



Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

my DS1 (will be 8 in a month) had been asking this question too during the pregnancy..also now that his sister is born and he is watching me putting her in bath, first time he saw that she doesn't have a penis he was really surprised..LOL...but now he knows how the girls look like..We had to explain where the babies come from at delivery (he was very anxious about it, if it hurts etc), also about C-section..not about the act itself yet.
We had an awkward situation this year, I must confess...I was already about 10-12 weeks pregnant with DD, but we did not tell the boys yet...We were having sex in the morning , and usually I hear if the boys come upstairs - out staircase makes enough noise to wake up someone sleeping - but this time I missed it..so suddenly the door opens and DS1 comes in..looks at us, than says: "Mom, me and A. (DS2) have found a chocolate in the kitchen...can we eat it?" :) SO when we told the children a couple of weeks later I was pregnant, DS1 has connected this episode with pregnancy....he said smth like, yes, I saw you and Dad doing this, remember? this is how the babies are made, right? So I kind of agreed that yes, this is how babies are made...He did not get back to the questions of baby-making after this..
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mommy2-2, the act theoretically is gross...I'd have to agree! LOL Ironically, I think men have a whole different perspective then us women. My DH doesn't think its weird or gross at all...hmmm (laugh) Oh well...it is what it is and since my DH is oh so cute...I'll still take him grossness and all! :-)
But we are on a delicate and thought provoking topic here so got to be honest!
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