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Middle child syndrome

 
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:20 pm    Post subject: Middle child syndrome Reply with quote

what specific things do you do to try and avoid this for your middle one?
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nata



Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

just wanted to say, that our baby is 2,5 months old now, and the most "problems" I've been having in these months was dealing with the midlle child. He has been really ignoring the baby, saying strange things about the baby, crying a lot, sleeping badly at night, disbehaving, refusing to go to school in the mornung etc. I am trying to give him now more attention, taking him alone or with his brother somewhere (without the baby), reading him before he goes to sleep in the evening apart from his brother (even if teh baby is crying because she is also tired and wnats to go to sleep) etc. It looks like he has finally accepted teh baby now and his new "role" in teh family, it took him really a while. He was afraid, I think, that he is not our baby anymore...
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My middle child really gets squeezed out by the other two. Part of the problem is that she is very close in age to my oldest, but a few years older than the middle. So when it comes to activites, dd1 and dd2 are ALWAYS together...same dance class, same gymnastics class. In dance class the teacher always has dd1 demonstrate the moves (they are working on some tumbling and my girls are the only ones who also do gymnastics). It's so hard because dd2 can do all the same moves. In gymnastics, dd1 and dd2 can do many of the same skills, but the teacher wants them to be in different groups, so she moves dd2 down with the less advanced girls. Then dd3 is very needy, and for her age she is very cute and tiny (just barely 30 pounds at 4.5), so everyone babies her and spoils her rotten. And both dd1 and dd3 are talkative, so dd2 kind of just keeps her mouth shut since she can't get a word in.

So, what I try to do is have special talk time with dd2. I also try to go out of my way to do special things for her. Sometimes when we're talking I'll just bring up that it's hard to be the middle sister, and in our family she is definitely the best suited to be the middle sister and both her sisters love her to pieces and want to play with her all the time (and they can both wear her clothes - haha). Also, I try to point out special talents that she has that are just hers...she and I share a love of music, so I try to teach her things, like how to sing harmony. It's really hard though, and sometimes I feel bad that she's squeezed out.
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Pepper100



Joined: 12 Jan 2009
Posts: 142
Location: Hull, England

PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Will be following this thread. This is probably the main thing I worry about. I am in life always trying to keep everyone happy. For example I try and make my MIL as included in things as my own DM.

I am so worried that I am going to screw up one of my kids by making them one of 3, especially my middle one, DS.
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Pepper100"]I am so worried that I am going to screw up one of my kids by making them one of 3, especially my middle one, DS.[/quote]

I think every spot in the family has its challenges. I try to keep in mind that even though it can be exasperating for my middle child, I know she wouldn't give up her little sister for anything. Maybe just put aside a few dollars a week for therapy?? Haha....
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