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Why?????

 
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opal



Joined: 19 Aug 2010
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:41 pm    Post subject: Why????? Reply with quote

Why can't I get the thought the want to have just one more baby out of my head/heart. I wish there was a shot I could get to get rid of the feeling.

My husband tells me that he still doesn't want anymore but meanwhile I keep hoping and praying that he'll change is mind.

Some days it really bothers me some days not so much. Like the other night we (my husband and 2 boys) were sitting there watching a movie and I'm there feeling like there should just be just one more there sitting there with us.

When I go to to the baby stores I try not look at the teeny tiny clothes. I keep having dreams that I am pregnant. Oh maybe I'm just driving myself insane. I thought of going to a psychic maybe they could tell me what is to be.

Somehow I need to find peace...
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Koagirl74



Joined: 26 Aug 2008
Posts: 31
Location: MA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Opal,

I just wanted to say that I can TOTALLY relate to what you are going through. I felt the same way! I knew in my heart I wasn't done and had that incomplete feeling when I looked at my family. I would get mad at myself for not being completely satisfied with the wonderful family I had. Despite all these feelings, I was so afraid to actually try to get pregnant and not to mention my husband did NOT want anymore. This internal emotional rollercoaster went on for about 4 years. Well.....fast forward to today. I am 28 weeks pregnant with my unexpected but TOTALLY wanted baby boy. I NEVER thought I would actually have 3. My husband was less than thrilled when I told him, but has come around. :) I wanted to share my story because you never know what the future holds!
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opal



Joined: 19 Aug 2010
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Koagirl, thanks! So happy for you. All I can do is just keep hope.
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Opal, just checking in to see how you're doing and send you a hug. I know how it feels to feel like someone is missing. Whenever we go out, I feel the need to count my kids and get to 2, and look around for the "other one"...go figure. We gave it a shot one month, but since it didn't happen we're back to being on the fence... Wish "making it happen" was easier and involved less effort on the part of both parties...maybe like a secret handshake or a switch on your belly button...ya know..."fertile/notfertile". It would make things so much easier than trying to "perform" on cue!
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opal



Joined: 19 Aug 2010
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mommy2-2, you have me laughing, a switch would be a great idea.
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opal



Joined: 19 Aug 2010
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just thought I'd share this since it's a cute thing my older son (4 yrs old) said. Both my kids love babies and they saw one cute little girl in the grocery store and they are like we want one. So my older son is like you have a baby in your belly rubbing it and then he says I want it to be a boy and a girl. Then later I told him that Daddy doesn't want anymore babies. Then my older son said maybe if we ask and say PLEASE he'll say yes. My older son also came up with the idea we can sneak a baby into the house because it will be in my tummy he(my husband) won't see it. LOL, he so sweet the things he comes up with.
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is adorable...sneaking it in via your tummy! Kids are so darn innocent! I love it!
My DD has been talking about babies and wanting one and I explained to her that it doesn't just happen...that mommy, daddy, AND God all have to agree for it to work, because God knows what's best for our family. So far God hasn't agreed. She gets confused, so I explain it like wanting to eat a cookie for breakfast every day. She might WANT that and it tastes good and is fun...but Mommy knows it's not the best thing for her and isn't healthy...sometimes God does the same for us. Of course she then reminds me that she caught me eating a cookie at breakfast time the other day...sheesh...kids!
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frogmommy



Joined: 18 Dec 2009
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hugs to you. I know the feeling.
I am not going to be very helpful but let me tell you this: after we had #2, I was really longing for another baby. So we went for it. But even after #3 I just did not feel done. And I had to think really hard to know if I wanted another child or just another baby (for all this baby cuteness that disappears so fast). It was more than just a desire for a baby so we went for it. #4 is now 7 months. My oldest is 6 and I work full time outside the home, so you can say that my plate is full. My husband is 100% done and I want to spend time with each of my boys. finance is also now not a negligible aspect (I am dreading the teen years to feed 4 growing boys and college funds are no small items).
BUT with all of that said, I am still really sad that we won't have more. I don't think I will ever be done in my heart even though in my head I know we are...
I am a little bit jealous of some of my friends that are done, completely done.
So youre feelings are normal. And might not even go away if you were to have a #3.
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