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DH just jumped off the #3 wagon :(

 
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Shorty



Joined: 16 Aug 2011
Posts: 60
Location: Alberta

PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:13 am    Post subject: DH just jumped off the #3 wagon :( Reply with quote

So sad, I brought up the subject after leaving him alone about it for a whole month. And he pulled the 'but we already have 2 perfect kids, why push our luck'. I'm bummed right out. Right after DD was born he said he would do it again if I really wanted. Now I want... I'm only 31 so I'm not too concerned about Downsyndrome ect. But time is ticking. Also if possible I want to conceive in Oct or Nov for a early summer baby, then I won't have to worry about driving to school for a couple of months as this will be c/s #3 as well. I conceived the last two in the first month we tried so theoretically I can do it again. Just needed to vent. Any thoughts on how I can get him back on board?
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 11:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry Shorty. Actually, it sounds like he's not 100% off the wagon (I could be wrong) but rather maybe being devil's advocate and expressing his concerns. I mean, he's telling the truth...yes, you do have 2 healthy perfect kids. Why push our luck? Valid question. Now, in a calm way, maybe even write it down, you can help him see your side of "Why" it would be worth it to "push your luck". But no begging, pleading, bellyaching (they run). With my Dh, whenever he's on board, I hesistate. When he thinks it is a really bad idea, I suddenly feel the need to convince him why it WOULD be good. (yep, I'm a little mixed up myself.)
Maybe give it a few days and just say to him something like, "I know we've talked about this and it sounds like you're very content where we are at, but I just can't stop thinking about how much another child would be good for our family." Feel free to PM me and I can let you know the more objective "pros" I've come up with rather than the "emotional" ones (sometimes those work better with guys). Also just talking about the "weight" of passion. Is YOUR need or desire stronger, more desperate, something you'll REALLY regret not doing vs. HIS need, desire or passion of NOT adding another and will he regret having another as much as you might regret not having one. If that makes sense.
Either way, in my humble opinion, if it's a tie...No wins.

Good luck!
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Shorty



Joined: 16 Aug 2011
Posts: 60
Location: Alberta

PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He is on board! It's on, I will keep you all posted. :D
Huge grin on my face, and couldn't get to sleep til past midnight last night.
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

woohooo! have fun baby-makin'!
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del



Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 2:42 am    Post subject: having three kids Reply with quote

Hi Shorty,

I am so happy to see that he is now on board. My husband did not esmy a third child and it took me six months of convincing him. He was worried about down syndrome and affording three in braces and college, but I told him that if we can do it with two kids, then we can do it with three. Besides, by the time our kids go to college, who will be able to pay for college. It will be the rich families that will be able to pay and our kids will have to take out loans. We can only help a little.

I have a three in a half year old boy, a two year old girl (she turned 2 this past July) and I had my third child a month ago. Our life is a little more complex and complicated with having a third. We don't currently have a routine in place and my son went back to wearing pull ups, but I feel that it is getting easier each day.

So, good luck and let me know if you need advice on anything. Good luck.

Darlene
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Shorty



Joined: 16 Aug 2011
Posts: 60
Location: Alberta

PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 2:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Del, I asked my kids what they thought about me having another kid, my DS who is 3.5 asked if we could send DD back. Omg did I laugh.
I'm not too worried about school paying for school either for the exact same reason. My worries are about the first 6 months or so. Once the baby more or less settles things will be 'normal' I'm used to having 5-6 kids tuning around.
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