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just wondering??

 
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 12:10 am    Post subject: just wondering?? Reply with quote

I have faced this with all three of my kids, and I'm just wondering if this has more to do with temperament of the child, or with something we are doing as parents....none of our kids have been these great night time sleepers that I hear other people talk about. Actually, my first 2 did do some good 6, 7, and 8 hour stretches up to 8 weeks, but then after 3 months old, that went out the window and they were back to waking 3-4 times a night.

With my first, we did "sleep training" and let her CIO at 6 months. It took a month of that, and she finally slept 10 hours straight. With the second, I couldn't bear it and just waited until he slept all night long on his own (14 months) now with my third, he is 7 mo. old and wakes every 1-2 hours all night long. He doesn't always want to be fed, he just wakes and will sometimes just need a pat. I think some of this may be teething, but still, it is too frequent. I will add I breastfed/feed them all and had the 2nd and 3rd (now) in bed with me.

My question is....do other people out there have kids they have breastfed and co-slept with sleep long stretches on their own? I know of people who have "good" sleepers at an early age, but they are bottle fed and/or do CIO with them when they are young. I'm not looking so much for suggestions, just wondering if we are unique in this experience. It is really exhausting and makes me wonder if it's just our kids...or more so the way I have set them up to be frequent wakers b/c of bf and co-sleeping.
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swedie



Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:13 am    Post subject: You're not alone Reply with quote

Well, I think it has a lot to do with breastfeeding in particular. My doctor told me that breastmilk doesn't make babies feel as full as formula, so they get hungrier quicker...that leads to more night wakings. I think when they are older, like 6 or 7 months, they are just used to waking to be fed. They don't really need it, its more of a habit. My oldest didn't sleep through until 18 months and my youngest slept through at 15 months. Interestingly enough it was right around when I quit nursing them. As tiring as it was though, it went by so quickly and they are awesome sleepers now. They both are in bed by 7:30 and sleep straight through until 7:00 a.m. I remember thinking that this would never happen. I never coslept, but I think it is the same, they are used to waking to feed with you near them.
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RockyMtnMom



Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Posts: 391

PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 5:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it is just differences in each child. I bf all three of my children and the first two "slept through the night" (which I consider early on to be 8 or more hours) at about 4 months and my youngest did so at 3.5 mos. While I didn't have them sleeping in my bed, they were each in a bassinet or pack n play next to my bed at that stage. Once they were "sleeping through the night," I moved them to their own room, with a monitor. Do they ever get up during the night? Sure! The older kids both had night terrors that I think were tied to being over tired. Also, the baby cut his first two teeth and was up here and there for two nights while they were poking through. I know it's hard to be sleep deprived so I wish you the best of luck. My favorite sleeping book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I love it!

One thing that I think helped them all is that I maintained an every three hour nursing session during the day (for a total of 5) so they got plenty of calories during the day so they weren't hungry at night. I did this even when they would've been ok waiting longer.
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2purpleflowers



Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 497
Location: Los Angeles

PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I only co-slept for the first couple of months, but continued breastfeeding well past the first birthday. My first was a great sleeper, and even though she nursed to sleep, would sleep through the night (11 hours), starting at 2.5 months... until starting at 7.5 months she began, in quick succession, crawling, teething, and pulling up to standing. Then she was up every 3 hours wanting to nurse back to sleep. We night-weaned at 9 months, and taught her to fall asleep without nursing (not CIO; I was with her in the room soothing her in her crib), and she resumed being a great sleeper.

My DD2, on the other hand, STTN for about two weeks at 3.5-4 months, and then did not do it again until she was 18 months old. She was able to fall asleep without nursing at about 8 months (when we did some sleep training; more of a Ferber approach with her because she just would not fall asleep with me in the room unless I was bouncing or nursing her to sleep), but she still would wake and want to nurse at night. Not to sleep, pretty much just to check in. We tried to night wean her at 10 months and had to throw in the towel because after nearly a week of trying we'd made no progress and I was too exhausted to continue. We tried again at 12 months and made a little progress, then regressed again. It wasn't until she was 18 months that we finally managed to night-wean. She started sleeping through within a week.

My DD3 was probably the best sleeper, and never even needed help learning to fall asleep-- as soon as nursing to sleep no longer worked, I just could pop her in the crib after nursing and she'd go to sleep. No crying, no fussing, no sleep training. We night-weaned her at 13 months and it was fast and easy.

I think the temperament of the child makes a huge difference. I will say though that it has been my observation that breastfeeding, co-sleeping babies and toddlers are on average worse sleepers than those who don't sleep with their parents. I know when I was doing it that I was so tuned in that I responded to every tiny gurgle, and found that we just woke each other up all night long. Once the newborn stage was over and they started to sleep longer stretches, I moved them into their own beds (though not necessarily their own rooms) so I could sleep a little better and more deeply. But cosleeping has other benefits that for some families outweigh the sleep stuff, so if it is working for you, then go ahead and carry on! One cosleeping-friendly sleep book you might want to check out is "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.
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nata



Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DS1 and DS2 were both tbad sleepers. I breastfed till 12 months, DS1 was a co-sleeper, DS2 not, but still did wake up during the night like every hour...Exausting. DS1 started sleeping good through the night around 2-2,5 years old, DS2 also...DD is now 6 weeks old, I breastfeed. She sleeps about 6-7 (sometimes 5, but often also 8) hours without feeding during the night from her first week..I can't believe she does it. But I am prepared it can all change soon because of teething or smth else.
I did read the book of Elizabeth Pantley and tried to follow her "system" with DS2, but it did not help us.
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, thank you! I do feel a bit better now reading some other responses that we are not alone. this is so hard for me. Aside from being exhausted and feeling like every other area of my life suffers because of it, I just feel so, "why me?" sometimes to the point of jealousy when I hear about these people who have had terrific sleepers and didn't do anything to "make it happen." I seriously thought that 1 in 3 would just do what I hear other babies do, but no. Sadly, I also feel like if this part of parenting hadn't kicked DH and my butt so bad, maybe we'd be willing to have a 4th, but we are shot!
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melicovas



Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I believe it's all about each kid and their genetics and disposition. All 3 of mine were "sleep trained" the same, fed the same at the same ages and they all sleep differntly. The last one (now 3) is the biggest pain in the a$$! LOL.. she still gets up most nights 2 or 3 times and has never ever been a good solid sleeper. And ya know- neither am I. Since childhood.
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For my family, I have no major idea WHY our boys have always been unbelievably great sleepers beginning at just a few days old and they rarely if ever woke in the middle of the night, even when sick, but I really do not think it has anything to do with HOW we parented. My theory though, at least for us was that the environment our kids sleep in "may" has something to do with it...just a guess...but anyways...because we have allergies...bad ones....of coarse we use 12 air cleaners all over the house and that included the kids bedrooms. I feel like the noise from the air cleaner, along with the fresh air flowing may have kept them easily able to sleep. Just a thought of coarse..but I can say for me, if the power goes out, without the noise and fresh air I awake easily and my kids will immediately wake up too....

Even when we had a foster son, he too slept like a log while here, never awoke..so maybe there is something to my "theory"....I guess if we ever added number 3 to our family and they slept too then I'd have to say it HAS to be the reason, that or I just hit it lucky.....but I'd like to believe the air cleaner has magical qualities...it does for me anyways (laugh) :-) LOL
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2blue1pink



Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 228

PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I ebf all 3 of my children.

The first 2 co-slept with us because I couldn't stand the exhaustion anymore. I would nurse them to sleep, place them in their own cribs/beds and leave the room. The next time they would wake, I'd take them to bed with me for the night and nurse a few times during the night as well.

They stayed in bed with my for about 2 years. When my first was 18 months old, he slept with us, but stopped nursing at night. He would climb out of his twin bed, walk to our room, and climb in next to me to sleep. When he asked to nurse, I told him "When the sunshine comes in the window, you can have milk." Obviously, he was old enought to understand that, but it worked.

Now my dd, was ebf as well, but she wanted to be in her own bed by herself at 5 months. She never co-slept with us and was sleeping through the night at 5 months (where the other 2, took 2 years to sleep through the night).

I didn't do anything differently, I think it was just their personalities.

I also want to add that my kids are now 8, 6, and 2 and they are EXCELLENT sleepers.
They go to bed easily and stay asleep.
I've heard horror stories of children not going to bed, or being in and out of bed all night long.
Fortunately, that's not the case here.

So, although my kids were somewhat 'needy' at night as babies, it has not reflected on their sleeping habits as children.
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RockyMtnMom



Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Posts: 391

PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kkimbrell: I just wanted to add, because you had said you were considering it before, that I would encourage you NOT to make any drastic, permanent birth control decisions (i.e. the big V) while you are dealing with sleep issues. Your little ones are all so young and it is tough having perspective when you're sleep deprived. You very well may want a fourth later on! You never know, sleeping situations often change overnight and I'm sure you wouldn't want to regret having done anything permanent. For example, my DD, who is my second child, would throw terrible tantrums between ages 2 and 3. For that reason, I couldn't imagine adding a third to the mix at that time, but once she left that phase, I was like, "Let's have another!" Good luck!
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