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Three under three

 
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nutmeg



Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Posts: 2
Location: NorCal

PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 7:18 pm    Post subject: Three under three Reply with quote

Hi! I'm new here and new to this whole idea of being a mom to three. I'm feeling so overwhelmed and was hoping to get some reassurance from anyone else out there who might be in the same situation or who have already survived a similar situation.

So, here's a brief run-down of what our little family looks like. We have two little boys - one who will be two next month and the other will be two in May (we were chosen to adopt #1, then found out a week later we were expecting #2). They are almost five months apart and keep us busy enough that we figured we wouldn't even think about the possibility of more for at least another year or more. Despite all our efforts to keep from getting pregnant, fate seems to have had a different plan. I'm almost seven weeks along and feeling more and more overwhelmed at the thought of adding #3 next summer, when the boys will be 2 1/2 and just barely 2.

Financially I think we'll be okay... although we will have to buy a bigger car, which won't be easy on the wallet. But, I think I'm mostly worried about my emotional/mental state and being so exhausted. Having two feels just barely doable... for some reason three feels more like ten! haha! Am I totally crazy here?!

Any advice in how to plan and prepare for #3... or any thoughts of encouragement and reassurance would be so very appreciated!

thanks,
meg
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome...I can't truly tell you how to handle 3..as I have been trying for 3, though adoption and even toyed with the bio route as well. I DID have a very brief stint with 3 though, having a foster son over the summer a few years back and really for me IMHO it wasn't any worse having 3 as it was having 2...I have heard going from 1-2 is harder then going from 2-3.....I think really the key is to get VERY organized....so that you have your days planned out so you have some time for you and your kids. Of coarse you will be busier, but also the fact you are having them all close together means you will also get your life back faster as they will all be grown at the same time. One day you will be tired and worn out and then a few years later they will all be able to take care of themselves all at the SAME time practically. I just think it really is normal to be overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed daily! Good Luck and congrats on your pregnancy!
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome...I can't truly tell you how to handle 3..as I have been trying for 3, though adoption and even toyed with the bio route as well. I DID have a very brief stint with 3 though, having a foster son over the summer a few years back and really for me IMHO it wasn't any worse having 3 as it was having 2...I have heard going from 1-2 is harder then going from 2-3.....I think really the key is to get VERY organized....so that you have your days planned out so you have some time for you and your kids. Of coarse you will be busier, but also the fact you are having them all close together means you will also get your life back faster as they will all be grown at the same time. One day you will be tired and worn out and then a few years later they will all be able to take care of themselves all at the SAME time practically. I just think it really is normal to be overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed daily! Good Luck and congrats on your pregnancy!
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2blue1pink



Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 228

PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 9:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honestly, 1 baby sounds a lot easier than 2, 2 year olds, lol.

I personally have found that 3 is easier than 2. I'm not sure how the math adds up, but it does.

I think that it will probably be the toddlers that keep you crazy, more than the newborn. That seems to be the general consensus between myself and my friends.

Good luck.
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats on #3!! I have a few points I wanted to respond to in your thread. The first thing to consider is, you may not have to buy a bigger car if you don't want to. Sometimes the key is buying the right car seats. The Sunshine Kids Radian car seats are really narrow. I had three of them in the back of my Saturn with no problem. You could probably fit an infant seat and two Radians in most typical sedans. Just something to look into if you didn't want to buy a new car right away.

As far as your concerns with having three under three, I would think that you are already crazy with two under three. I can't imagine that one more will make much of a difference. Especially since you already have experience having two babies at once. Once you're used to having multiple babies/toddlers at once, I think you can add one more. I would think the hardest thing might be that you have to be a bit more homebound for awhile. But since your older two are still so little, you haven't had total freedom for awhile yet anyway, so maybe your lifestyle won't change much until baby is a little older.

My three are older...9 (today....the birthday girl is SO excited!), 7, and 4.5. The relationship between them is so special that sometimes my heart just swells with gratitude that I have been blessed with three kids. My three were all adopted. :) I think you'll hit a groove...it might take a little while, but you'll figure out what works for you.
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would imagine that adding the 3rd is not going to be nearly as hard as what you've experienced already with your 2 being so close! seriously, I think the hard part is over.

when my 3rd was born, my oldest was 3 and 3 months and my 2nd, just under 2. It was MUCH harder for me when my 2nd was born and the oldest was only 16 mo. Don't get me wrong, having 3 is challenging, but the beauty of having the older two close in age is that they play really well together and keep each other occupied while I do what I need to for the baby. I think you will find as your boys get older, they will play more and more together, and it will be fine. Sure, you'll be tired, but just keep remembering that it is a season. One thing that keeps me going is to envision the future and how I will have 3 so close in age. I think that is going to make for some really fun times that will be so well worth the difficulty of the baby/toddler days. It will feel like a blink of an eye down the road.

One thing I've done for the better part of 4 years now is try and nap everyday. It makes me feel guilty about the housework, but I just do it to preserve my sanity and help with the exhaustion. I highly recommend this if you can. :)
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Mama Erin



Joined: 09 Jan 2010
Posts: 89

PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 5:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Being pregnant with 2 little ones is brutal. I remember feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted- the thought of the baby actually being here intensified those feelings. Now that I'm 11 months into 3, I actually feel like it was harder being pregnant with 2 than having 3. Sure we have tough days when the baby was up a ton, but my body is back to normal (almost) and I actually have more energy (despite having less sleep). Of course, yours are closer in age than mine but that may mean your boys play better together than my older 2. Best of luck to you and check back in as much as you need to get some perspective- lots of ladies have been there and lived to tell about it ;)!
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nutmeg



Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Posts: 2
Location: NorCal

PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 6:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all the great comments and support! Morning sickness is really bad right now, so I'm sure that has played a factor in feeling a little more overwhelmed. And, I have to keep reminding myself that my two boys are going to be growing up even more in the next 9 months... by the time the baby comes, they'll probably be a bit more helpful and independent.

I was realizing that I automatically associate having a newborn with our situation when #2 was born, which was a five-month old AND a newborn. Having just one baby in the house will no doubt feel a lot easier than that.

@Can't decide - Thanks for your insight. I'm sure in a few years we'll feel really glad to have had them all so close in age! I'm really sorry about your struggle to have #3. I hope my post didn't come across as ungrateful. Before we had the two we have now, we struggled with unexplained infertility for seven long years. I hope everything comes together for you to add one more!

@2blue1pink - yeah, you hit the nail on the head! I think I'm mostly worried about how to handle the two crazy 2-year olds when I'm stuck on the couch nursing a new baby. lol.

@ walkbyfaith - thanks for the tip on car seats. I'll definitely check them out. We already have three car seats - one infant carrier and two toddler - but, if paying a little more money on new car seats will save us from having to buy a bigger car (for a little while at least), then it'd be worth it. And, that's so great that all three of your kiddos are adopted! I love adoption!!

@kkimbrell - hearing how close your kids are in age, and hearing that adding the 3rd was easier than with the 2nd, helps me feel so much better! I also appreciate the reminder that it is a season! And, I'm totally a napper! No matter what, I go down for a nap after I get the two boys down every single day without a hint of guilt. It's awesome! And it does preserve my sanity.

@Mama Erin - I think you expressed exactly how I'm feeling - pregnant, sick, overwhelmed and exhausted - which makes the thought of 3 unbearable. I think I just have to prepare myself for the first few months to be the hardest... it is comforting to hear that by 11 months you're feeling as great as you are with 3!

Thanks, again, for all the encouragement and insight! I am slowly feeling more optimistic about life with three!
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 7:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In my case, My DH and I ttc for 3 years..my DH is considered medically sterile, I on the other hand am in excellent shape...well at least my reproductive area is perfect, can't say the rest of me is (multiple medical issues) LOL...why I have never been able to commit to ttc another one. We were fortunate that prayer helped us concieve our boys, all on our own when the doctors all told my DH that it wasn't possible. It was truly God that gave us our miracle boys. :-)

And No I do not think for a minute your post seems ungrateful...I would love to jump in and ttc a 3rd, but my heart has been on adoption for a long time now..I ONLY truly keep the bio option open because we have YET to adopt and struggling in that area. In your case you are in the midst of morning sickness and little kids so of coarse you are going to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. But things will get better,partically once that morning sickness gets better...just hard to go through that, I can so relate! I hope you feel better soon and vent as much as you need too..we are all here! :-)
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I forgot about morning sickness (how could I?) yes, considering where you are at right now, I definitely think where you are at right now is the toughest. And you will be surprised how much the boys will be different in 9 months. I was worried about my 2nd at the time the 3rd was born (he was 22 mo at the time) but he was just fine. It was kind of like he grew up a bit once the baby came, and he jumped right in playing with my oldest even more. It was really nice to see actually. I began to feel some of the "payoff" so to speak. another piece of advice...my daily mantra is "One thing at a time." I OFTEN feel overwhelmed...as I look at the laundry...as I hear constant requests for something from me....as I am tired from the night before. I just tell myself--do one thing at a time, and that helps. I also tell the children when they are throwing requests at me rapidfire--I can only do one thing at a time....and that seems to help my mental state. We may be running late for everything we do, but we get there eventually ;)
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melicovas



Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep- the being pregnant part is hardest. Once you have the 3rd, and particularly after the 1st 3-4 months, it really does just fall into place.

I had same concerns, freaked out for months and it really just works out. COngrats!!
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