HavingThreeKids.com Forum Index HavingThreeKids.com
A site for moms who have three, want three, or fear three
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Checking in.. not such good news

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HavingThreeKids.com Forum Index -> Having Three Kids
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
melicovas



Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:07 pm    Post subject: Checking in.. not such good news Reply with quote

I'm back. You know I got preg with #4 after DH had a VR (vasec. rev) It happened really fast. But it felt...weird..from day 1. Had some bleeding, a blood clot was in the uterus . Anyway, long story short, I miscarried at 12 weeks and just had the D&C last week.

I join you all again. And now I wonder why I am bothering to press my luck. I have 3 great kids and I'm almost 37.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Shorty



Joined: 16 Aug 2011
Posts: 60
Location: Alberta

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh no, so sorry for your bad experience. Chin up. If it's ment to be God will make it known. Hugs to you and yours!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
2purpleflowers



Joined: 15 Jul 2007
Posts: 497
Location: Los Angeles

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

{{{HUGS}}}. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
RockyMtnMom



Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Posts: 391

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am so sorry to hear your news. I was a bit worried that we hadn't heard from you, so thanks for letting us know and I'll be thinking of you during this difficult time. If you really want another child, please don't let this discourage you. While it is very, very upsetting, please don't take it as a "sign" that you're not meant to have another. I lost two babies in our attempt to have our third child and I went through all the feelings I'm sure you are having. PLUS, I was even older than you...37 the first time, 38 the second time, then had our third child when I was 39. Hang in there and hugs to you and your family.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
proudmum



Joined: 01 Dec 2009
Posts: 86
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. It's so hard and so easy to lose focus.

You are still young, and if you really want to have a 4th you can. Just give yourself time to grieve this loss and in time I am sure you will see whether you want to continue or not. Whether 4 is for you is only up to you and your family, however if 4 is what you really want, you still can try.

Hope you are feeling better soon. Love and thoughts to you.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 1:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also agree, don't let this discourage you...things happen, but there is still a good chance you could have another baby! Sorry to hear about your loss!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
melicovas



Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

aww you are all very sweet. I feel OK, I suppose. Almost selfish, like "how dare I even be wanting another when I had 3 basically on command" I know that SOOO many women go through miscarriage and I have no idea how you all go through this multiple times.

I had some complications post D&C and am still not recovered. So we'll see what we decide. Anyhoo.. I am now back with you all in the "to TTC or not" dilemma.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 2:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

melicovas, so sorry for your loss. <<Hugs>>
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
2blue1pink



Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 228

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 2:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh no. Big ((hugs)).

So sorry to hear about your loss.

I sometimes wonder if I am pushing my luck as well. Three healthy kids seems almost too good to be true.

But yet, I still want it so bad that I'm willing to keep trying.

Maybe you shouldn't really make a decision right now. Let your body heal, then do some soul searching. If you still want another baby, and are willing to try again, you'll feel it in your heart.

So sorry.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I lost my first pregnancy it was awful...my DH and I had gone through many many fertility treatments, then even resorted to using donor sperm.....thousands of dollars in debt, and many tears later...we just decided it was time to give up and at 20 years old adoption was out. DH and I later used no B/C...when I found out I was pregnant on OUR OWN..I was shocked. I began to bleed slightly just a few weeks later...I went in, had a regular sonogram where they told me they couldn't figure out WHY I was bleeding, they saw no blood anywhere in my uterus and saw the sac where the baby would be up high, in place and where it should be. A few week later the bleeding continued and then I began to get pain, I rushed to the emergency room to meet up with my doctor at the time..he blankly and without emotion told me "my pregnancy was not going to fly"...and set me up just like that for a D&C. After surgery the doctor came in sheet white and told me we would never have kids at all and told us there was tons of "fetal tissue" in my uterus..My Mom asked well I thought there was No baby....he again looked white and made some rude comment and then proceeded to run out the door. It was a devastating blow to me, my DH and My Mom. My Mom continued to remark at how strange the Doctor was acting. (NEVER in a million years would we figure out why, till many years later) Of coarse I DID, again on our own get pregnant again just 3 weeks later....called this doctor, and he told me I would M/C again, NO DOUBT in his mind and proceeded to say with anger that he could no longer keep me as his patient...I was only 23 years old with pretty much no medical problems and I was considered high-risk to HIM?

So I switched doctors, (he wasn't great either-would find that out later..ugh) But when this new doctor asked for my records they found many of the records of my D&C were missing...or mysteriously absent..when the new doc asked for the records...he got one excuse after another.....

Fast forward, I found the second doctor from the same hospital as the first to not be good either....so i switched to a 3rd doctor and FINALLY hit the jackpot with a Fabulous Doctor..I was pregnant with my youngest son and again, began to bleed...same EXACT scenario as my very first pregnancy, the one I was told I was M/C. My NEW awesome doctor told me to my face, WHY I was bleeding and that the blood was from outside my Uterus as my uterus was tipped and attached internally and that my first pregnancy was NOT a M/C, as I HAD thought..but very likely to be an abortion!!!!

All of a sudden, everything made sense,,, the pain I had was from the uterus moving, the bleeding was from the uterus tearing away from the abdominal cavity....with my oldest son I was told I did NOT experience any of that...because I had the D&C in mid December and got pregnant again 3 weeks later and it wasn't enough time for my uterus to go back fully and reattach internally..why I had no bleeding with him and just a tiny bit of uterine pain. It also explained why the doctor dropped me, why he would RUN from me when he did see me in the hospital....why the records were missing, etc...

I have told this story too many times to count, and why I continue to tell it is because while each of us has M/C many times here on this forum...when you don't choose to M/C its horrible...but you didn't plan it, nor did you want it to happen. In my case, DH and I never chose to end our first pregnancy, it was at the hands our doctor that our first child isn't here...and that is sad. At the time to me, It was and still is a M/C but the reality is different REALLY, while I NEVER knew it then, still it is very sad. Now understand, a loss IS a loss...and its awful...but if you lost a pregnancy on your own that you truly wanted, its not like you wanted it that way. For me, the doctor made that call and its not like it would have happened on its own..I would have had that baby had it not been for THIS doctor.

Just know you didn't ask to M/C..but you did...please don't give up hope because it happened....HAD I listened to the guy who stole my baby, that I would never have kids EVER, I would not have my oldest OR youngest. Just believe and have faith that somehow, someway you WILL have another child. God doesn't want us to be angry, depressed, sad or defeated and while its easy to feel that way, I know...just don't give up! Bad things happen to good people..but good things also happen to good people. Just be faithful to what you KNOW in your heart that YOU want. I can't believe that you chose to do all that you did to have that next baby for nothing! I just feel like for you to reverse a Vasectomy and have it go well...God has a plan for your life and I really feel like you will have another child...just stay positive despite your loss. You SO deserve to be happy and you will be....I pray that you have peace and renewed excitement for your future because God so has great a life in store for you! God Bless!

Lisa
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
nata



Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 8:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So sorry for your loss! Give yourself time to understand if 4 is really for you. But don't take it as a sign or anything, it can happen with 1st, 2nd etc child..I mean don't let it stop you if you really want another. The other thing is of coures I, for example, love children, and 4 does not seem such a frightening number anymore, but I am not going to do it - age, health (mine), sleep deprivation, it is just enough for our family, life would be really stressed if we add one more..
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
swedie



Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 6:21 pm    Post subject: You're not alone... Reply with quote

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your loss. I posted about a month ago that we were pregnant with #3 and unfortunately I miscarried as well. It was such a sad few weeks, but it made me realize that this third child is definitely wanted. If you want a fourth child then you should definitely go for it! Don't let what happen to you make you change your mind. I am trying to look at it, like I didn't lose just a baby, I lost a baby that wasn't healthy and maybe would have had lots of problems. Nature made sure that didn't happen, so that I could go on and have a healthy baby. It is hard saying goodbye to a pregnancy and baby, but everything happens for a reason. Stay strong and here's to hoping you feel better soon:)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
RockyMtnMom



Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Posts: 391

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Swedie: I'm sorry for your loss as well. It is never easy, but I'm glad you have a good perspective. Good luck healing and trying again :-)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
seathree



Joined: 02 Mar 2011
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sending you a big hug. It took me over a year to be ready to try again for our third after having a mc. I let myself feel many emotions, including not having any more, before I was ready. I hope you heal quickly, physically and emotionally.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HavingThreeKids.com Forum Index -> Having Three Kids All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group