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The quest for three might be over:(

 
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swedie



Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 12:22 am    Post subject: The quest for three might be over:( Reply with quote

So, I have posted on here many times about wanting a third. We have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. We finally decided to start trying for a third, and got pregnant in September, but it ended in a miscarriage. We got pregnant again in January, but unfortunately I suffered another miscarriage last week. I feel like maybe this is a sign that we should stop trying for a third. I feel that if having a third was meant to be, it would have happened on the last two attempts. I don't know what to do anymore. Anyone have any similar experiences or thoughts? What would you do if it were you? When do you say okay we gave it our best try and clearly we need to stop.....
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 12:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Swedie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot give any words of advice, but I am truly sorry....hugs.
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So sorry, swedie! <<hugs>>
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StrwbrryMmmy



Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Posts: 87
Location: British Columbia

PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

I don't have any advice aside from just give yourself the time to grieve now. Once you are physically healed and hurting less emotionally, you will be able to decide if you want to try again. *Big hugs for you*
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RockyMtnMom



Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Posts: 391

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Swedie: I am so very sorry for your loss and can unfortunately relate all too well with what you are probably feeling. I, too, had two losses in our quest to have a third child. I was 10 weeks when I lost my first and 17 weeks when I lost my second. Each miscarriage brings with it a ton of emotions and when you consider the two together, it's just downright awful. It's so hard to NOT look at this as a sign that you shouldn't have another, but DON'T. If I had let myself do that, I wouldn't have my sweet, yummy little 14 month old DS2. Give yourself time to grieve, see if you can learn anything about why you may have miscarried and then just see how you feel. In my heart, I just knew I had to try again and I'm so glad I did. Hugs to you and I'll be thinking of and praying for your peace and comfort. If you ever want to PM me, I'd be happy to talk more with you. xoxo
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maybe3



Joined: 09 Apr 2009
Posts: 102

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 2:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big hugs to you:( I know how hard it is and all I can say is that everyone is different. You have to do what's right for you and your family. I had three consecutive miscarriages before having my third and I knew that the fourth pregnancy would be my last no matter what the outcome. Thankfully, it all worked out in the end and we finally got our third. Give it some time and you will know what the right decision is for you. FWIW - 2 consecutive miscarriages does not increase your chances of having another miscarriage. It is only after three in a row that the chances of having a successful pregnancy decrease. Take care and best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So so sorry to hear of your loss. I can only imagine how sad and painful and exhausting it all must be at this point to even think about what to do from here. Honestly, you don't have to make your decision today, or tomorrow or a week from now, etc. Put a moratorium on trying to decide and just "be" for a little while. See how you feel. But no, I would not suggest that it is a "sign" that you shouldn't go for a third...but a chance to re-evaluate your feelings once you are feeling somewhat better.

Sending big hugs.
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swedie



Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 10:21 am    Post subject: Thanks for your advice Reply with quote

Hi ladies,

Thank you so much for your support. Its been about a month since my original post and I am feeling a bit better. We are putting a hold on trying to conceive for a bit because I feel like I've focussed so much time and energy in this quest that I need to turn that energy towards my 2 other sons. We are taking some time to relax and enjoy them for now. We have lots of fun things planned for the summer and then maybe in the fall we will reevaluate how we feel. I guess my DH is more off of the fence at this point than I am, though I know it probably wouldn't take much convincing to get him back on board. We will see what happens....It makes me feel better that so many of you were successful in your attempt for a third after suffering consecutive losses....how stressful for you as well. Thankyou again for your advice...
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