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Going from two to three...

 
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snikdab



Joined: 12 Mar 2012
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:12 pm    Post subject: Going from two to three... Reply with quote

I'm just curious for those of you with 3 children if you can tell me what were the challenges. A lot of people are telling me that going from 1 to 2 was more difficult. What can I expect? Obviously I know there will be more laundry and messes to clean up but how difficult is it really.

I have 2 small children currently. My daughters are 28 months old and 16 months old. They actually are 360 days apart. And I'm now almost 8 weeks pregnant with our third. We haven't told very many people (including family) because my brother and SIL are pregnant with their first and I don't want to take away from them. I suppose I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed. I had definitely entertained the idea of having a third, but just not yet. However I am excited and I know that all three of them will be so extremely close.

Thanks in advance for any advice or thoughts you may have.
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome and congratulations!

My kids are pretty close in their age gap to yours: #1 and #2 are 16 mo. apart, and #2 and #3 are 22 mo apart. Adding #2 was much harder than adding #3, and I think it was mostly b/c they are closer in age and my first didn't have anyone else to play with while I was taking care of the baby. And since that's your case too, I'd guess it will be that way for you too. Also, I think it was much harder being pregnant with #3 and having the two so young still.

I'll be honest there are days that it is really really hard! My kids are now 4, turning 3 and 13 mo. The adjustment to 3 wasn't big for us though. We were already doing diapers, used to waking up at night, sweeping the kitchen floor 8 times a day, taking 30 minutes to get out the door, etc...adding one did not change any of that. In fact, it felt more like he was joining in what we were already doing. The hardest part for me is that I am spread very thin emotionally. I am a SAHM and someone wants something from me from 7 am until 8 pm and then there are still night wakings. Even on a great day when there are not tantrums and the baby isn't clingy or fussy, there is constant talking, noise, questions, and someone needing something. This is exhausting. There are still days that I go back and forth about wanting a 4th though, so there you go. It can't be too awful!

Here's the awesome part I love about having 3 so young together:
#1 and #2 will play for HOURS together--this was esp. true when #3 was first born. That was a dream! They all love each other. The baby now even tries to get in on what the older ones are doing. There is always a playmate around, everything we do is an adventure-- even the grocery store ;)

so yeah, adding the 3rd does spread you thinner, but the adjustment isn't bad, and there are lots of advantages that are worth the short season of exhaustion.
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snikdab



Joined: 12 Mar 2012
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="kkimbrell"]Welcome and congratulations!

My kids are pretty close in their age gap to yours: #1 and #2 are 16 mo. apart, and #2 and #3 are 22 mo apart. Adding #2 was much harder than adding #3, and I think it was mostly b/c they are closer in age and my first didn't have anyone else to play with while I was taking care of the baby. And since that's your case too, I'd guess it will be that way for you too. Also, I think it was much harder being pregnant with #3 and having the two so young still.

I'll be honest there are days that it is really really hard! My kids are now 4, turning 3 and 13 mo. The adjustment to 3 wasn't big for us though. We were already doing diapers, used to waking up at night, sweeping the kitchen floor 8 times a day, taking 30 minutes to get out the door, etc...adding one did not change any of that. In fact, it felt more like he was joining in what we were already doing. The hardest part for me is that I am spread very thin emotionally. I am a SAHM and someone wants something from me from 7 am until 8 pm and then there are still night wakings. Even on a great day when there are not tantrums and the baby isn't clingy or fussy, there is constant talking, noise, questions, and someone needing something. This is exhausting. There are still days that I go back and forth about wanting a 4th though, so there you go. It can't be too awful!

Here's the awesome part I love about having 3 so young together:
#1 and #2 will play for HOURS together--this was esp. true when #3 was first born. That was a dream! They all love each other. The baby now even tries to get in on what the older ones are doing. There is always a playmate around, everything we do is an adventure-- even the grocery store ;)

so yeah, adding the 3rd does spread you thinner, but the adjustment isn't bad, and there are lots of advantages that are worth the short season of exhaustion.[/quote]

Thank you so much for sharing how it felt for you. It's nice to hear that this is totally doable from someone that is doing it. I'm a working Mom and while I hate to be away from my children, I sometimes feel like it's to my benefit that I have time away from them (plus it really helps to support our growing family :lol: ) Having 2 kids in one year was extremely challenging for us. When #2 was born, #1 still wasn't walking and didn't for another 2 months. That was tough. Diaper changing and all that good stuff has never really bothered me. My girls already fight over my time and attention. They struggle to share half my lap. I hope that adding a third doesn't intensify those feelings for them. My #2 and #3 will be right at the same age difference as yours (23 months apart). But my youngest daughter just still feels so much like a baby. ODD talked so early and YDD still grunts mostly to get what she wants. She got tubes in her ears about a month ago and I'm hoping that will slowly improve that. I guess there are days that I feel overwhelmed about it all. I'm sure it will get better when we finally start telling people because right now I'm still really anxious about that part even.

Sorry, I know that my thoughts are kind of all over the place, but I'm just having a really hard time sorting through all of this. I know in the end everything will be okay and I'll be so excited for this baby and won't be able to imagine my live without him/her but for now it just feels like a lot.
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nata



Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

my kids are already older than yours, 8 and 5 y.o., and our third is 7 months. It is doable, but sometimes it is hard..I just had kind of negative day today, emotionally..bad weather, children the whole inside, baby did not sleep good during the day, the boys have too much energy, husband irritated :)) Just kind of the day you want to forget. I agree with kkimbrell, for me the toughest part is that the kids need me from 6 a.m. till 8 p.m., and the baby also during the night. I am not the most balanced person , and my level of patience could have been better sometimes. Sometimes I just want to spend 1 hour alone without any sounds...I am a working Mom, and honestly I get my rest at work.
It looks like it is getting easier at this moment, the baby is crawling and gets more self-sufficient, can play alone for sometime, the oldest two are entertaining her constantly (sometimes, like today, a bit too much..)
To summarize, I love having three, no regrets here.
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As a mom to three older girls (9, 7.5, 5 next month), I can say that having three is a blast. I really, really love it. It was hard when my youngest was little, but now it's really gotten so easy. Right before we brought dd3 home, I remember thinking how easy life had gotten with my two oldest, and it was hard to "go back" to baby stuff. But now we're back to the point where it's easy again. All three of my girls were adopted internationally, so when dd3 came home at the age of 17 mo. the oldest two were 4 and almost 6. But now they are all into school and activities and it's really fun. They are each others' best friends. They cheer each other on. They bicker and fight, but for some reason when they do I just smile because it's kind of precious to be so close to someone that you're comfortable fighting and can make up 5 minutes later. I hope they are always close.
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