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Now that I'm back at work...

 
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alc



Joined: 06 Mar 2011
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:38 pm    Post subject: Now that I'm back at work... Reply with quote

I'm really not having any fun there!

Warning.. there's a lot of rambling and indecision below. I'd love to hear others experiences, joys, regrets, etc with either going back to the office or deciding to be a SAHM.

I have 3 wonderful boys (8, 5, 6mo). After my first two I was ready to get back to the office. Enjoyed working, enjoyed my family time and never felt like I was in the wrong place. I've been back in the office for about 2 months now and every day it feels wrong. All I can think about is being home with the baby. Although, I am a bit overwhelmed of the prospect of all 3 during the summer.

Now, in work's defense, there have been some recent changes in terms of my team makeup/structure as well as other company changes that impact my role. They're not impacting in a bad way necessarily but are just different. I feel I need to give it some time to see if I readjust and adapt.

Financially, it's MUCH better if I work too. Although with some life changes I could stay home. Unfortunately, I'm teetering in what I should do and we're getting ready to sell our home and buy a new one (targeting a better school district for the kiddos). Of course our income drives where we can live and what we can afford. Plus, what if 6 months in I realize that it wasn't that I really wanted to stay home but that I just hated my job so much. Although to be honest, I can't picture a job that I want over staying home with the boys. But then I think about when I go back to work in a few years once the baby goes to school - what would I do, could I keep up with technology? Will the baby get enough socialization by not being in daycare/preschool? Will I be able to relate to other SAHM? Will I go crazy in the summer with all 3 boys at home? How does cutting our income in half really impact us (I can run numbers all day long but living it is different).

All the considerations are a bit overwhelming and I'm afraid to commit in either direction. I know this isn't healthy for anyone and is likely driving my very supportive husband crazy. I'd love to hear from anyone else that has been in a similar situation or has felt so torn about working its distracting. What were your considerations? How long did you either work or stay home before you felt you were sure about your desires?

Thanks for reading the ramble!
Amanda
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been a SAHM ever since we brought dd1 home. She's now 9. Financially we do have to budget and be careful. My kids wear clothes from Walmart and Target, shoes from Payless. They go to public school. We limit activities to one or at the most two per child. I try to keep things like birthdays and holidays simple (but am not always successful...haha).

It was really an adjustment when I first started staying home. I missed feeling smart and having somewhere to go and adults to talk to. But, as I got used to it I have really grown to love it.

I think it depends on your field whether your skills will become outdated. I was previously a computer programmer. Things have changed so much I would have to take a refresher course to go back. But, I really hated that field anyway, so my plan has always been that once dd3 was in school I'd go back to college for a new degree. I started last fall, so hopefully by the time dd3 is in about 2nd grade I can finish up (I'm just part time). I'm really excited to have a new field to look forward to and to have the chance to ease into it by going back to school.

Also, all three of my girls went to preschool. They attended just a few mornings per week for 2.5 hours and it was perfect. Enough for me to run errands, not too expensive, gave them a little "life" where they could do projects and play with friends, and got them ready for kindergarten. My oldest two went to a church-run preschool and my youngest now attends a program that is run through our local gymnastics center. So just because you stay home doesn't necessarily mean your little one can't attend preschool to give you a little break...because you WILL need a break!! :) My youngest will start kindergarten next fall and I can't wait!!

Good luck as you make your decision!!
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Rosie12



Joined: 16 Mar 2012
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Amanda

Is there no way you could perhaps compromise and go part time or find something similar working from home? I left a very pressurised career after having my first child and since then I have managed to pick up jobs working from home which aren't necessarily as rewarding (financially or otherwise!) but do give me a lot more flexibility and mean I am still in a related field, so if I do choose to go back, I perhaps could.

Rosie
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