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Were you 100% sure before TTC #3?

 
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lgp



Joined: 16 Mar 2012
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:40 pm    Post subject: Were you 100% sure before TTC #3? Reply with quote

My husband is now having second thoughts because he's afraid that I'm not completely sure about going for #3. I do have some doubts and maybe there are always pros and cons? Any time you make a big decision that will change your life, isn't it natural to feel some trepidation?

But I think in the whole, bringing another child into our lives would far outweigh the cons... and as many of you have pointed out, there is the short-term and the long-term and there are smaller/ mundane changes and not as many big/ worse changes? I appreciate that perspective.

Would love your insight!
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't have any hesitation about having #3, but I did have fears about how our lives would change. Does that make sense? Somehow I just knew it would work out, but I didn't know exactly how much our lives would change or how my two older kids would handle all the changes.
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Shorty



Joined: 16 Aug 2011
Posts: 60
Location: Alberta

PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I defiantly had apprehensions, but, we decided to go for it anyway. I am now 17 weeks with #3. My decision maker was, how upset/ regret would I feel if we didn't go for it. I think women in general over analyze way to much, this is a heart decision that should not be dictated by space/money ect. All of that extra stuff will just sort itself out, as George Strait (country singer) says, 'we are here for a good time not a long time' kids add to the good time! You can't take any of the money or anything " with you' at the end so live it up. When you get to the end, what TRULY will you regret?

Apparently I'm a little sentimental tonight, lol. Follow your heart, it will never lead you wrong.
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nata



Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

no, I was far from 100%, but because I was not 100% for more than 2 years and did not seem to get much closer, we just decided to start TTC. But for me, there are more things oin life that I am not 100% sure about, because sometimes you can not know if it is "your thing" before you try it yourslef..and adding one more child to teh famly..you never know how it goes...I had lots of woorries, what if the baby is not healthy etc., finance, time for other 2 children..lots of matters..my work...We are glad we added the third to our family now. It is difficult, but so much worth it. I think I am a bit sentimental, but just seeing that there is now another human being, so positive as she is, so full of energy, joy, able to see how beautiful the world around her is..just think that I gave birth to her and she can enjoy the life now,,there is something magical abouit it.
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StrwbrryMmmy



Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Posts: 87
Location: British Columbia

PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was 100% until it came time to TTC then the uncertainty came about how another child would really affect our family and if the timing was right. I think its very natural to be hesistant about a third, for some reason a third child seems to be a much larger decision than the second. Despite my concerns, with a little push from my DH and the kind words of the ladies on this board, we jumped into this journey and now I am in my 11th week of pregnancy with baby#3. I am so excited about what this baby holds for our family and I'm no longer nervous about how it will work out because in the end, everything does work out.
Good luck Igp!
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maybe3



Joined: 09 Apr 2009
Posts: 102

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 2:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was definitely not 100% sure. I obsessed over the pros and cons forever. I think at some point, I finally just came to the realization that I was just never going to be able to get having #3 off my mind no matter how long I continued to debate with myself over whether to do it or not do it. Because I just couldn't let go of the idea and be sure that two was enough and couldn't stand the agony of being in limbo anymore, we eventually went ahead. I can honestly say that it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my lifetime ( maybe even the best). My little guy is 17 months now and I'm thankful every night I put him in his crib that we went ahead with it!
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

was always sure we wanted 3, so it was always just a question of when, not if.

now considering adding another is a whole different experience. I can now understand the back and forthness that many people share about having a 3rd. It is a tough decision, but the more I talk with people the more I hear that "when you are done, you just know." So, since I don't "just know" I would personally be going for it myself if my DH was on board. For me, having that little ache inside (despite the logical cons I could list) is enough to make me believe my heart really wants it.

my 2 cents...
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lgp



Joined: 16 Mar 2012
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="walkbyfaith"]I didn't have any hesitation about having #3, but I did have fears about how our lives would change. Does that make sense? Somehow I just knew it would work out, but I didn't know exactly how much our lives would change or how my two older kids would handle all the changes.[/quote]

That does make perfect sense- maybe that is what I'm trying to reconcile... being in two "states", if you will- no hesitation about #3, but still having some fears. Maybe I'm mixing the latter state (fears) with my desire to have another one. But still having confidence that it will all work out! Holding those thoughts and feelings in the same place.

Thanks for sharing!
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lgp



Joined: 16 Mar 2012
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="maybe3"]I was definitely not 100% sure. I obsessed over the pros and cons forever. I think at some point, I finally just came to the realization that I was just never going to be able to get having #3 off my mind no matter how long I continued to debate with myself over whether to do it or not do it. Because I just couldn't let go of the idea and be sure that two was enough and couldn't stand the agony of being in limbo anymore, we eventually went ahead. I can honestly say that it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my lifetime ( maybe even the best). My little guy is 17 months now and I'm thankful every night I put him in his crib that we went ahead with it![/quote]

Thanks for sharing- I definitely related with the obsession... and paralysis analysis of pros/ cons! And I get it- the idea and yearning still lingers. I just wished my husband understood me- that the analysis doesn't mean I'm waivering?
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lgp



Joined: 16 Mar 2012
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="kkimbrell"]was always sure we wanted 3, so it was always just a question of when, not if.

now considering adding another is a whole different experience. I can now understand the back and forthness that many people share about having a 3rd. It is a tough decision, but the more I talk with people the more I hear that "when you are done, you just know." So, since I don't "just know" I would personally be going for it myself if my DH was on board. For me, having that little ache inside (despite the logical cons I could list) is enough to make me believe my heart really wants it.

my 2 cents...[/quote]

Thanks for sharing! I do hear that when you are done thing and I haven't had that feeling. When I think about being done, I feel more sick to stomach and depressed, bc I don't feel that I am. Instead of putting maternity clothes and baby clothes away, I've organized them... for later use! and it is a heart decision. Appreciate your insight
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lgp



Joined: 16 Mar 2012
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Shorty"]I defiantly had apprehensions, but, we decided to go for it anyway. I am now 17 weeks with #3. My decision maker was, how upset/ regret would I feel if we didn't go for it. I think women in general over analyze way to much, this is a heart decision that should not be dictated by space/money ect. All of that extra stuff will just sort itself out, as George Strait (country singer) says, 'we are here for a good time not a long time' kids add to the good time! You can't take any of the money or anything " with you' at the end so live it up. When you get to the end, what TRULY will you regret?

Apparently I'm a little sentimental tonight, lol. Follow your heart, it will never lead you wrong.[/quote]

Love that quote! And yes, we over-analyze way too much! Yes, heart decision and you are right about not sweating the small stuff!
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Rosie12



Joined: 16 Mar 2012
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From what I've read and heard, I think very few people are completely sure about having third. I think it is one of those dilemmas where there isn't really a right or wrong answer. I wavered a lot and also panicked hugely when I actually got pregnant (10 weeks today!) but the further on my pregnancy gets, the more I see the positives and feel it was the right decision. I know things will be different, but that doesn't mean worse. Thinking back, I remember having anxieties about going from 1 to 2, but now I wouldn't change my two gorgeous DCs for the world!
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