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Rant re: gender

 
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StrwbrryMmmy



Joined: 20 Jan 2012
Posts: 87
Location: British Columbia

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 4:13 am    Post subject: Rant re: gender Reply with quote

"Trying for that boy, huh?"
"Third time might be a charm!"
"I know a family that had six girls before they got their son."
"You'll probably get another girl, haha."

NO, we want another child. Just ten fingers, ten toes and a cute button nose is what we want. At the end of the day, errrm pregnancy, I don't care if the baby has internal or external plumbing as long as s/he is healthy. Both DH and I would absolutely love to have another daughter, that's a bizarre concept to some people. We'd love to have a son too, and I have a feeling this bub is a boy..It will be interesting and different but completely enjoyable if it is a lil man! If i had complete control, I'd pick another daughter but with either gender I'll have won the lottery by having been blessed with another child. ...As long as it's a baby I'll be happy, lol.

I'm sure if it is a boy the next round of idiot statements will be, "I guess you're done now since you got your son,"
Or if we have another girl, it'll be, "Trying again for that boy?"

I'm sure it's the same for families with two boys, "gonna try for a girl?"

It drives me nuts. Why is the opposite gender held on a pedestal?
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nata



Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can definitely relate; even my own parents were hoping for us we get a daughter after 2 sons. I sincerely wanted just another child; also i must say I was so used to have boys and loved them to pieces, and so i really would have enjoyed one more boy. And being pregnant at the age of 36 and getting a third (!) completely healthy child at my age was really a gift of God, I was so worreid about if I was going to have a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy, the gender was really not that important. My MIL reaction when I tld we were expecting a girl was also "oh, now you are (finally) done"..soemthign like this...when she never helped any single day with any of our children!! SO why should she care how many kids we want..:)
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, big <<HUGS>> from this happy mama of three girls. My girls are a bundle of energy and now that they are older (baby just turned FIVE! others are 7 and 9) they really enjoy each other. I'm sure any combination of genders would enjoy each other.

FWIW, we adopted our daughters so we had some choice in the matter of their gender. I would have loved 2 girls and 2 boys, but when we brought home #3 I knew there was some question of whether we'd go for a 4th, and I thought 3 girls would be nice (and from a practical standpoint would allow us to pass down clothes and toys). My dh loves being outnumbered with all these girls. Haha. If we ever decided to go for #4 (which I'm pretty sure we won't) we'd probably go for another girl since that's what we're used to. I've asked dh if he feels like he's missing something by not having a boy and he says absolutely not. I'm with you...healthy children are miracles. The gender really is so unimportant.
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Isn't it crazy how people "assume" things? I have a girl and a boy, and everyone we ran into had something to say about "how lucky to be able to be done with one of each"! Yes, I adore my kids, and I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I grew up with a brother that I am not close to and would have LOVED to have a sister (or more) or another brother that maybe would have had a relationship with me. Most people can't get their head around why we'd even CONSIDER having a third, but don't hesitate with the "going for a X/Y" comments to my friends who have 2 of a kind.

When I was pregnant with DS, DD was just turning 2 and she said early on, when asked if she thought the baby was a boy or a girl, she emphatically said, "A GOAT!" Yes, she meant the animal. Never did figure that one out, but from then on, if anyone asked if we thought it was a boy or girl, or after we found out what we were having, my answer was, "I'm just hoping/happy it's not a goat!"
That stopped all questions!
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="mommy2-2"]after we found out what we were having, my answer was, "I'm just hoping/happy it's not a goat!"[/quote]

LOVE that...what a great answer. :)
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wyowyome



Joined: 01 Apr 2010
Posts: 319
Location: WY

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 2:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was/is tons of the gender-comments around here, too!

I actually wanted another little boy when we decided to go for #3...but it was AMAZING how many people automatically assumed we were "going for the girl".

Once we learned her gender, we got a lot of, "well...now you can be done having kids then". And, "I'm so happy you are finally getting your girl"!

Ugh...

And now that she's with us, we get the "well, at least you FINALLY got your girl" comments.

I love to tell them I REALLY wanted just one more boy...and they seem terribly puzzled by this. WHY would you want another boy when you already have 2?

BECAUSE I LOVE MY KIDS..no matter their gender and we weren't TRYING FOR "THE GIRL". We recognized the blessing of a child, in general, and could care less about the plumbing! You are not alone (:
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kkimbrell



Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Posts: 192
Location: Snellville, GA

PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

people are always trying to give pregnant people advice and words of wisdom. I think many times it's b/c they are living vicariously through you and expressing their own thoughts and feelings about their families. it can be quite annoying, I know!
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lgp



Joined: 16 Mar 2012
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm curious if anyone has a good response to these types of comments- something that is true, but pleasant and not too sarcastic? Maybe just "no, we wanted another healthy child" and just leave it at that?

I love the "goat" response too- quite cute and shuts them up!
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 11:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a close friend with 2 boys tell me, before we even had kids...
"God gives you what you need!" She "needed" 2 boys, but had always wanted a girl, but is very happy with her house of boys! She also told me that my husband needed a girl and she was pretty sure if we had kids, he'd end up with one or more. First kiddo...yup...girl...first girl born in over 90 years in his family!

So, when we were expecting our second and people kept asking what I was hoping for, (besides a human rather than a goat), I'd smile and say, "Boy or girl, we'll get exactly what our family needs". =0)
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