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UPDATE.....WE ARE ADOPTING..FINALLY!

 
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 9:45 pm    Post subject: UPDATE.....WE ARE ADOPTING..FINALLY! Reply with quote

Hi All...
I haven't posted since last year as my computer was messed up. Then, my Mom had to have open heart surgery last spring...she is doing great so we finally back in May began the adoption process once again. After failing miserably trying to adopt from foster care and me being now 40 as of July 21st and Dh 43 and my health issues...ttc wasn't at the top of my want to do list..though DH would have wanted to do that, still may! LOL So...we talked things over and over again and finally settled on Adopting from China's waiting child program. We are currently almost past homestudy...just waiting on the final draft and a few odds and ends and are working on other paperwork and even looked at one referrel already, which wasn't a good fit for our family :-( It has been nuts, but we are hopeful we will find our forever daughter this fall or by next February at the latest and hopefully by sometime in summer or early fall of 2013 we will be able to bring our girl home!!!!!

After our long waiting process and getting the funds together..etc.... it will be SO nice to finally have our family complete...though DH has told me he would truly LIKE to adopt at least 2 children...since he has always wanted a LOT of kids. I have told him we NEED to take one child at a time and he knows that.,..but I can't say for sure in the end HOW MANY Kids we will have..I just know it will likely be MORE if DH has anything to say about it. He jokes and tells me, we should ttc, maybe after adopting and then adopt again after that.......UGH...this man! LOL

Just wanted all you girls to know how much I appreciated all your kind words over the years....It has been a wild ride and it still isn't over yet.....

:-0
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Pepper100



Joined: 12 Jan 2009
Posts: 142
Location: Hull, England

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 9:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, that is fantastic news. I was only thinking that we hadn't heard from you for a bit and was hoping all was ok with you.

Glad to hear that you're family is growing as you always wanted. I always thought that you would go for adopting in the end.

I've got to say 3 kids is awesome so much so that I am already testing the water with DH for number 4. The answer is no.................for now :wink: .

Keep us up to date with any developments. It is so nice to finish the journey that we started with you.

xx
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It will be nice to finally be on our way and be able to someday soon FINISH this journey...I look forward to seeing a family photo with THREE kids....something I have wanted for a long time...and while it took 10 years to convince DH to adopt..now he is the one gung-ho and I am more cautious! Go-figure...but we are all super excited including my 2 big teen boys who will be 16 and 14 in just a few short months..by the time little sister comes home they will be almost a year older then that! UGH....
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats! If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask. There is a great resource at www.chinaadopttalk.com which has a blog and also a forum (you can find the link to the forum on the right hand side) where you can learn the answers to every single question you can imagine about China adoption.
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waitingspring



Joined: 26 Sep 2011
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations! And just like your husband says, you'll never know what happens if you keep on ttc... There was an adopted girl (she's from China too) in my daughter's daycare class, and she had a sister about a year older than her --- the daycare teacher told me that the couple started the adoption process about three or four years ago, and then the mom got pregnant and had their own daughter, and then the adopted girl came...
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

walkbyfaith..thanks always for your support..it will be exciting to join you FINALLY as an adoptive family too! :-) I am super excited, cautious too....but look forward to having our girl home, whoever she is! DH and I talk about you all the time because you have adopted THREE times so, I always used you as an example that adopting IS possible..your stories of HOW you did things really impacted my DH into thinking it was possible. He then actually began to look at many ways to make adoption possible, he refied our home and got our mortgage down by hundreds of dollars.....giving us an additional 400-600/month extra. Then he found a way to take out a small adoption loan and the rest he is saving for and using a little from here or there to get things done. It is going to be tight..but he NOW feels it IS doable, and really it was all because of your ability TO adopt that made him think outside of the box. Seeing pics of your three sweet girls truly made him think how much he wants a daughter. So thanks so much for always being that unseen, but known inspiration for our entire family! :-)

waitingspring...we already have 2 biological boys, and would have loved to have had one more biological child as well as we have always wanted to adopt 1-2 kiddos. I, myself am adopted by My Dad, raised with my Bio-mom! Then with DH it just took him a long time to come on board with International Adoption, because of costs. With my health..overactive thyroid-postpartum and my slight heart issue, and allergies to everything-meds in hospital...etc.... kind of made the idea of bio kids, a more challenging idea for me, even though pregnancy was SO easy.....that is ONCE I actually got pregnant--as DH is considered pretty "sterile"...(laugh) though I still had kids against all odds.....my history with this forum is pretty lengthy! LOL But I have always wanted to adopt..then once that is finalized....DH and I will talk as soon as we can, IF we finally feel our family is NOW complete and if not..will then decide if we want to adopt again or ttc. For me, I will be just happy with ONE more but with us you just never know. ;-)

I can say this much though...this forum has been a great place to really vent.....talk and just think things through....as the last decade passed..it was really sad for me to think that my older boys may not be a part of our next children's lives...but I have come to think now, that as a Christian woman, God is completely in control of my life and that is something I truly trust more and more each day. I think this is the reason I haven't completely 100% closed the door on ttc..despite my medical issues. I feel like once we adopt...I feel like God is going to truly reveal to me, if, when and how we "may" add more kids to our family..because for once I was listening to HIM. My initial desire was to adopt from Latin America...and strangely no matter how much I wanted that...every road, for many years now has pointed to China...and while China was on my list...it was my last choice..not because I didn't love the people, the culture....etc...but because for me the idea of China, due to where I am at...in the eastern side of the U.S.A. seemed like it was SOOOO far...that is what got me saying.....um....I am not sure about it. But it was my DH who always wanted to adopt from China....he woke up one morning with tears in his eyes, telling me that God spoke to him and said our daughter was in China.....that was the confirmation I needed as weeks before I had a dream of my DH, our family and I in the airport WITH our little girl from China. So...we are on this journey.........:-) FINALLY! :-) :-) :-) And I look forward to our family growing...just hope..LOL..that 3 kids is all God has for us....cause if its more.....yikes.....is all I can say..but DH will be thrilled....nutty man! :-) I always tell him no more then 5 kids...cause thats all that will fit in a normal mini-van..though for me, really...no more then 4 would be ideal...because if something happens again to my mom, she will be with us too. LOL Why we are still open to the idea of another home, I want to downsize..DH wants a home that can have the best of both worlds...a place to grow with the ability to stay on one floor so as we age we can easily stay in our home, plus if my Mom moves in...we got to have a place for her too..ugh...so many changes...wow......ok...enough of all this talk, my head is spinning... :-)
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nata



Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great news, Can't decide! I was thinkign some weeks ago that we haven't hearad from you for quite a while.
..our number 3 has turned 1 y.o. this summer..time flies...
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can't Decide...I'm so happy (and humbled) that I played a part in your adoption journey. I'm glad you and your dh were able to work out the financial parts and move forward. Please keep me posted as you walk this path...I'm sure it will be amazing!!!
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 5:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Walkbyfaith...YOU did have a serious effect on my DH..thankfully! :-) Everything you would write about on your girls was like my DH seeing what COULD be..so thank you so very much for helping him get interested and excited about the idea!!!!! My DH did tell me he would like to ask you some questions.....so likely I will have him PM you if that's ok?
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walkbyfaith



Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 499

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="CAN'TDECIDE!"]Walkbyfaith...YOU did have a serious effect on my DH..thankfully! :-) Everything you would write about on your girls was like my DH seeing what COULD be..so thank you so very much for helping him get interested and excited about the idea!!!!! My DH did tell me he would like to ask you some questions.....so likely I will have him PM you if that's ok?[/quote]

That's fine if he wants to PM me. Also, are you both planning to travel? I know that was a big sticking point for you...if just one of you travels let me know. I can send you a document I have that has instructions for one-parent travel in PA. There are some really unusual requirements, and many of the adoption agencies don't know about them.
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mommy2-2



Joined: 24 Jun 2011
Posts: 234

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OH! Here it is! I guess I missed your post! So excited for you!!!
Can't wait to hear about your adoption journey!
I missed ya! (granted I've just been reading as we're likely sticking with 2 but still liked to hear from you).

YAHOOOO!!!
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CAN'TDECIDE!



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 968

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks mommy 2-2...we are super excited and it has taken a LONG time, like over a decade to get HERE. While DH was open to as many biological kids as I wanted, the idea of trying to come up with thousands and thousands of dollars to adopt was SO out of his realm of possibilities. I tried everything with him....like I will work and save it up, etc to take the burden off and STILL he wasn't convinced. I had it in my mind to adopt from Latin America and he was freaked out about it. Yet, he was pretty open to the idea of China adoption which ironically requires a 2 week travel trip and is one of the farthest places to fly too.......(laugh) Sometimes, it just takes men time to come around! LOL

For you and your DH, don't entirely give up your plan of more kids if you feel strongly about things, because after everything we have been through...still...we find ourselves doing this NOW.....guess what I am saying is you just never know what is in store for your family. While I am VERY excited about FINALLY expanding our family..part of me is worried....cause if things go well....I am totally sure DH will be wanting MORE kids....anyway we could have them....adopt or bio....and while 10 years ago that would have been great, we were younger....today I feel like..geez I am older.....I yell at DH sometimes and say....so now you want to move forward...I mean REALLLLY? So give your DH time and you too....if WE can do this, after all of these years, anyone can!!! :-)
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