I suspect the on-purpose moms would agree with me when I say that, when you decide to get pregnant with your third child, there may be people who don't think this is a good idea. People may tell you, for example, that you're insane (some people phrase this more lovingly than others). People may look at you doubtfully, thinking that your house hasn't been clean since 1999 and it's not clear that you can manage the two kids you've already got, and they might say things like, "Well, umm, you'll certainly have your hands full."

Ya think?

Then there will be the people who are unhappy because they think that you are overproducing. Fortunately, most of these people are sufficiently well-mannered to keep their opinions to themselves. I was lucky enough to get through my third pregnancy with only one minor comment in this vein; a friend of mine named Katie mentioned that she thought I was being socially irresponsible. After a brief silence in which it became clear that I wasn't interested in debating the point (I doubted we'd convince each other of anything) we went back to talking about other things.

My stepdad did call me an indiscriminate breeder, but he meant it fondly. He's proud of me. Also, I think he has his own agenda. See, he's a mathematician--as is my mom--and I suspect that he likes the idea of a female engineer breeding as much as possible, thus presumably nudging the gene pool in the direction of increasing geekiness.

Of course, that's exactly what was on my mind when, approximately 29 months ago, I was sucking down a mojito, looking lovingly into my engineer husband's eyes and murmuring, "Let us leverage our key competitive advantages and issue a new release! Or should I say, let us release new issue! Hmm, maybe I'm not clearly communicating the concepts here. Let us mate our male and female connectors as shown in Figure 2.1, my love, and conjoin like there's no tomorrow!"

Obviously I don't agree with my friend Katie's assessment. But perhaps she would be reassured to know that my oversized family has probably prevented a pregnancy or two. Every time I go to the grocery store with all three kids I'm sure that we inspire several people to scurry off in search of the condom rack, or to make an appointment with their doctor to get their reproductive equipment disabled. When our family goes out to dinner I suspect that we reduce the number of fellow diners that decide to have sex later. Or possibly ever.

And it's not like I think that everyone should have three kids. It's a mixed bag, for sure--I totally see why people stop at two kids, or even at one. As a dad friend once told me, "Before I had kids, I wanted four of them. Then I had one, and I wanted two. Then I had two and I wanted one. Then I had three, and I ran away from home screaming." No, no, he didn't actually say the three part, I made that up.

The truth is, there are some great things about having a big family, though you can't always find them when you want them. They sort of sneak up on you. Like the other night, when we were all sitting in the living room playing Uno. All five of us, playing a card game, as a family. Well, ok, technically Kirby wasn't playing, he was sittting in my lap nibbling the edges of one of the cards. But he was watching alertly, and when he saw me pick a "Draw 4" wild card at a crucial moment I could swear he nearly wet himself. Of course, he does that under many circumstances, what with him being basically a baby and all. But also, he kept shouting, "Noo-no! Noo-no!" at random intervals, thus proving that he was fully engaged in the game.

As we were playing, Ben and Riley kept up a steady stream of trash talk, just like I'd taught them to. I was so proud. It was like this:

Ben: "I'm gonna kick your butt off!"

Riley: "No way, dude, I'm gonna kick YOUR butt off! You are SO DOOMED!"

Kennard: "Is someone going to actually play a card here, or are you all too obsessed with your butts?"

Me: "Oh puh-lease, like you're not obsessed with our butts, too. And just so you know, I'm going to be the only one in this room who's not butt-less when this game is over."

At which point Ben turned to me and gave me that tender smile that tells me he'd marry me if he could, and he said, "Mama, I'm going to kick your butt off very gently."

And Kennard nudged me and whispered, "Well, it just doesn't get much better than this, does it."

And he totally meant it. This is it--this is our big payoff. This is the kind of thing we fantasized about when we decided to have a third kid. It's what makes up for all the other crap we deal with. But (unlike having mojitos) having three kids is not something I'd promote as a universal lifestyle choice. All families have their own preferences, their own resources and constraints. There are things you can do when you have one child, or even two, that become nearly impossible with three. And besides, I've heard that some families don't even like Uno.